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What is it that drives a man to bondage? Whether a young man will ever come to the brink of sexual dependence in his life depends on how great the difference is between his desire and his successes with the opposite sex: as soon as desire becomes rampant but successes fail, he can become a victim. The path to dependency is actually quite simple: every young man is observed in some way in his behaviour. Especially today, only young men have a chance with women who are very self-confident, future-proof and sport toughened, and at the same time still look halfway acceptable.

Partly clear, partly absurd motives of women to become a domina

Many of these young men are said to be eager for the fulfillment of their desires and to give very much if they were fulfilled. If this constellation is present, only a woman whose behaviour pattern fits it needs to know about it. This could be the woman in her mid-forties who has just run out of the huntable game, or the young unemployed woman with criminal energy who wants to see how much money has to be squeezed out of the young man, or the workers daughter who simply wants to show the snooty boy how deep they can sink. However, the motivation of the women, who want to keep a youngster for a while, is often not clearly transparent. It can be assumed that these women, as very young girls, were still able to keep a farm, but that they ran out of mens material over the years. It is also possible that women simply stayed with the young girl game: I want to know how far hed go for me, and the more he does, the more I despise him.

Dominant women like to lead

The catching methods are always similar: he wants to meet a woman who is willing to give him pleasure. The observer recognizes this and offers sexual services relatively freely at the beginning. Gradually, however, these are made dependent on conditions - in the case of the woman in her mid-forties, for example, on the fact that she binds the young man with her love skills and at the same time demands more and more time for herself. The criminal woman tries to squeeze money or gifts for the young man, while she entangles him deeper and deeper into sexual activities that he should be ashamed of in public. The same goes for the snooty civil servants boy, who has taken the workers daughter under her thumb: He has to experience how he becomes more and more dependent on a socially unacceptable relationship. Most of these dependencies today go hand in hand with more or less loving blackmail. Whereas in the past there was only the threat of publishing the corresponding correspondence (which usually did not happen), today love blackmailers try to capture scenes with a digital camera that are unpleasant for the young man. Parallel to sexual addiction, an emotional, addiction-like bond or financial addiction can be built into the relationship - for example in the case of the woman in her mid-forties, who causes her young man to lay down his work and move in with her completely. In most cases the seduced to bondage is creeping into the own system, which is popularly called salami tactics.

Literature euphemises male bondage

In literature, it is mostly pupils and other addicts who have been brought up by an adult woman to be servile. The motivation of the women remains almost always unmentioned, while sometimes we can find a reason why the young man remains in the relationship: He is exposed to an alternation of fascination and oppression, endless lust and total frustration, so that he becomes dependent on both the one and the other: Partly out of fear of further blows, and partly out of the lust of youth to share a secret with a beautiful woman, the young man is made submissive. In another description it says: Her love for me was sweet and bitter at the same time ... from the beginning she had considered it to be her wish that was my command, and I tacitly agreed with her. All this is - as already mentioned - the part of a mostly cruel truth wrapped up in literature: men still consider a womans affection to be love even if it is not a carefully calculated game with addiction, and they continue to endure the humiliations when it has long been clear that she is only using the woman to gain power or money. The knight of Sacher-Masoch, for example, was doing this with his Wanda - at least in his own narrative. Quite a few men who were questioned after or during the period of a long dependency explained their inability to resist with a single sentence: But she has always said that she loves me. The path to dependence can go further than this can be described here. The latent desires of men for humiliation, which usually occur in dependent relationships, can be manipulated at will, especially when men show a certain willingness. This is why almost all literary works include chapters in which men have to be humiliated as women - sometimes in reality, sometimes ostensibly. Whether in classical erotic literature, where men are treated like women, or in modern literature, where the antihero is ultimately forced or induced to perform fellatio on a man - homoerotic components are almost always built into todays literary works and pornographic stories. Reality, however, is even colder, more cruel and sometimes more disgusting than fiction. Men who fall for women find it very difficult to get rid of them again when they have been completely entangled in their networks, and they often relapse again when women make new promises. Love can never really be talked about. It is nothing but the desire to be loved at all costs that drives these men, and it is women who enrich themselves psychologically and financially from this weakness. Let me conclude with a word: of course there are just as many maltreated, love-seeking women who, with their pleading, weeping eyes, persevere with men from whom they should have fled long ago. But they can hope for understanding pity - most men, on the other hand, reap nothing but scorn and ridicule.


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